Wednesday, October 13, 2010

These phases are normal.

Every action has a reaction: every smile, a tear.
Nobody truly deserves happiness if they can't make it work for them.
We all have a long way to go.

Honest Reservations

Doubts flash over and over.

By not trusting myself, I don't let anyone else.
I've learned to expect the worst from people.
Back to that ever haunting wall.

Even writing this right now, I'm putting a wall up.
I haven't written in months.
I block out the positive, focus on all of my regrets.
Every mistake, every possible consequence.
I've let secrets grow in my mind. 
I'm used to letting out the poison.
Always the first to apologize,
but I guess that's out of fear of abandonment.
Things are just too different.

I thought I wanted change but I'm not sure I can handle it.